I was trying to cool down after jogging and I decided to quench my thirst with my favorite sports drink. As I was drinking it, something tasted kind of strange and it wasn’t refreshing at all. A moment later I discovered that I was drinking clam chowder.

What does one do when a life-changing event like this transpires? I need your help to make sense of this tragedy. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy sports drinks and clam chowder?

I was enjoying some delicious mashed potatoes when something about the texture seemed off. I inspected the mashed potatoes more closely and noticed there was a family of circus performers living in them.

What does one do when an event of this seriousness presents itself? I need your help to figure out what to do. What advice would you give me so I may once again savor mashed potatoes and going to the circus?

I decided to go swimming the other day in my fabulous pool but, when I dove into the refreshing water, I saw something strange. I was relieved when I realized that it was just a Tyrannosaurus Rex.

What does one do when such a life-changing event occurs? I need your help to figure out how to deal with this disaster. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy swimming and dinosaurs?

I was in the mood for a delicious pickle but, when I tried to open the jar, it slipped out of my hands and flew out the window and into a passing horse-drawn carriage.

What does one do when an event such as this occurs? I really need your help to heal from this unbearable mayhem. What advice do you have for me so I may once again enjoy delicious pickles and horse-drawn carriage rides?

I bought some new pants and was feeling pretty great but, after wearing them for a while, I noticed they were rather uncomfortable. I checked the pockets and pulled out several saxophones.

What does one do when an event of this gravity occurs? I really need your help to make sense of this troubling debacle. What advice do you have for me so I may once again enjoy wearing pants and listening to smooth saxophone music?

I was enjoying a delicious plate of pasta when I noticed that the texture was rather strange. I couldn’t figure out what was going on until I realized there were a bunch of chess pieces mixed in with the pasta.

What do you do when something this serious happens? I need your help to figure it all out. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy eating delicious pasta?

I was trying to find something to watch on TV and my remote control wasn’t working. After many attempts to get it to work I realized I was standing in front of my microwave.

What does one do when an event of such consequence transpires? I need your help figuring out what to do about this distressing incident. What advice would you give me so I may once again enjoy using my remote control?

I went to visit one of our great national parks and I was enjoying the amazing, scenic beauty when I tripped on a log and fell onto someone’s delicious picnic meal.

What does one do when an event of this gravity occurs? I need your help to heal from this horrible nightmare and once again enjoy visiting national parks. What advice would you give me so I may move on with my life?

I was ironing some clothes because I like to look neat and wrinkle-free. All my clothes were looking awful and I realized I was putting too much butter on the iron.

What does one do when something this awful happens? I need your help to figure it all out and once again enjoy ironing my clothes. What advice would you give me?

I decided to make my famous cabbage casserole one evening. I was having trouble getting everything in the baking dish when I discovered an alligator lying at the bottom of the dish and not making any effort to get out.

What do you do when something like this happens? I need your help to move past this harrowing event and once again enjoy my delicious casserole. What advice would you share with me to deal with this life-changing incident?